


What is Left Behind (Always Catches Up)

by hopeyoustay



Series: Stories from Arcana [2]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Biting, Fluff, Heartbeat Kink, Idiots in Love, Interruptions via Portia, Julian Devorak's Route, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, One Shot, Recovered Memories, Red Plague (The Arcana), Temporary Amnesia, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 08:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeyoustay/pseuds/hopeyoustay
Summary: Julian woke up with more memories that he bargained for. He and the apprentice he's grown to love now have to face the reality of what had come to pass and what is in store for them in the future.





	What is Left Behind (Always Catches Up)

He'd just awoken, eyes fluttering open only for the first thing he sees to be Theo. His doctor's apprentice, the one he'd failed so badly and so ultimately, hurling a jar of mummified leeches right at Valdemar's head. The courtier merely swayed to the side, a vicious look in their red eyes. They said something, the words a blur in Julian's ears when his heart was pumping so fast. Theo, Theo, Theo. He looked up just in time to see the knife plunging down, straight towards his abdomen, and he forced his body to lurch sideways off the table. The postmortem changes in his body made it difficult; all his joints were still stiff and he was so cold and even the blood rushing furiously through his veins felt sluggish. Still, he landed on his feet and grabbed Valdemar's arm, throwing the crazed head physician off balance before he turned to Theo, who was watching with wide eyes.

"Now! Theo!"

With a dark look in his eyes Julian was unaware the magician could possess, Theo hurled a vicious attack at Valdemar. Pure magic shot from his hands as Julian dived away, sparks like fire flying towards the courtier. There were so many they couldn't possibly dodge them all and soon the courtier fell back onto the floor, struggling to get up to their knees. He saw no hesitance on Pasha's face as she picked up a chair and rushed the physician, Malak cawing angrily behind her. Valdemar struggled to flee, stumbling up the stairs as Malak tore at their skin with sharp talons and his sister followed right after, waving the chair like a war axe. Using the table to brace himself, he tried to stand but his knees were still weak. Suddenly there were arms pulling him up, and Theo's features swam into focus.

"Theo, it...it is you, right?" He reached out a shaky hand, "I'm not...I'm not dead? It worked?"

He sagged against the magic-user, feeling Theo take a shuttering breath before a near sob practically tore out of his throat, "You, you're alive, you're alive, Gods, Julian, you're alive..."

"I am?" He let out a shaky laugh, a roguish smile tilting his lips up as he stood, more steady in his bearings this time, "Are you sure? Maybe you should check..."

Suddenly the weight supporting him disappeared and Julian had his arms full of Theo, the tarot reader gripping him like a vice. Pure affection, pure love shot through him like an anesthetic, numbing him to everything besides the shorter man he held close to him. Suddenly it wasn't just these past few weeks, these past few months. It was an entire two years given back to him like a gift, from meeting the starry eyed magician who wanted to help the sick to nearly collapsing when Nadia told him of Theo's death at the Lazaret. He laughed now, out of equal parts affection and sheer comfort, and embraced the magic-user tighter against his chest.

Theo's breath was hot against his lips, and he could see the tears running down his old apprentice's cheeks. Suddenly Theo's hands came to rest on his shoulders, the entirety of his body shaking, and Julian was thrown off balance as they both fell backwards onto the table. He just barely flung a hand out to catch himself, sending all of Valdemar's tools clattering to the floor, but they both ignored it in favor of each other. Theo just grabbed his face in two hands and kissed him hard, biting at his lips before pulling back for air and doing it all over again. The sound that the actions tore from Julian was practically animal, equal parts longing and relief, and ran his hands down the magician's body. Julian caressed his back, his neck, his arms, before finally settling on his hips and drawing him closer in one swift, hard jerk. 

"Mm, Julian, I-" The way Theo looks down at him makes his chest burst, with those teary eyes and that smile so full and relieved and happy that it nearly hurt. To see that expression directed at him of all people...well, the doctor didn't really know how to handle it. So he leaned forward and kissed him hard again and again, each one being return with equal enthusiasm, until Theo let out a keening whine and they both pulled back for air. Hands were still tangled in Julian's hair, gripping harshly, but he didn't correct Theo on it. He liked it. Well, he was pretty sure he'd like whatever Theo did to him.

"I'm, ahh, sorry if I worried you." Julian smiled, his eyebrows drawing together lightly as a heavier blush set across his face and he averted his eyes.

"If? If you worried me?" The response was nearly incredulous and, despite the pink dusting Theo's cheekbones, Julian knew that tone of voice when he heard it. After all, he'd gotten the exact same phrase said many a times in his very own practice when Theo would berate him for taking what he called 'unnecessary risks' and the like.

"Uh oh." He sighed, grinning devilishly, "I know the sound of an impending lecture when I hear one."

The magician's face softened instantly and it made Julian weak, "No, but...we do need to talk."

The doctor frowned slightly, relaxing his grip on his love and letting him slide down from the table before Julian himself stood up, "You know, that didn't go so well when I said it."

"Because you're you." He looked deadly serious, but that familiar ring of joking was hidden in his voice and the auburn haired man found himself fighting off a grin.

"You are right, though. And I have something to tell you, too." He took Theo's hand in a loose grip, desperate to keep contact, "Why don't we...go in here?"

He lead the apprentice to his office door, pushing it open despite the way the hinges creaked in protest. Julian had to duck to make it in, but once they were there he floundered a bit. Books were scattered everywhere, not the way he left it at all, and from the sheepish look on Theo's face he knew exactly who's fault it was. He rearranged them, putting the books in neat stacks and papers in an organized pile if only to keep his hands busy.

"So, um...so." He faltered, rubbing at his neck out of habit, "It worked, obviously. I, uh, met the Hanged Man. I received the rest of my memories back, and I know the cure, and...listen. Just, uh, stay calm and listen to me, okay? I found out that...that..."

He faltered, but Theo had a grim, knowing look in his eye and finished where Julian choked, "That you knew me before, and that I died of the plague?"

"What-? How did you..." The doctor blinked rapidly, like the wings of a bird flapping, "Here I was, steeling myself to tell you, and you already knew?"

The other merely shook his head, "I didn't. Know, that is. Not until today. I, uh, saw you in the Hanged Man's realm. After you...after what happened, I blacked out and had a vision of you. After that I was taken there, and I saw everything. Heard everything. I-I tried to get to you, but I couldn't reach you or call out to you. You and him were...in your own bubble. Only he knew I was there."

"Then that means...are you, well, are you okay?" Julian's face scrunched up, the anxiety building in his chest making it slightly difficult to breathe.

"No, I...no. I'm not." Theo shook in front of him, taking short, panicky breaths, "I..."

Julian reached out, carefully, and touched his shoulder before he pulled all of Theo in. He guided him to the cot with an arm around his waist and sat down with him, enveloping him in an embrace. The magician placed his head on Julian's chest, right over where his heart would be, and the doctor could feel him syncing their breathing. 

"I mean...I'm okay because you're here now." Theo's voice was small, nearly impossible to hear, "You weren't gone for a day but I was so worried it was permanent and I'd...I'd miss you. I don't want to be alone, don't want to be where you're not."

It was too reminiscent of that last conversation they had when Theo had visited him at the palace before returning to Julian's practice one last time. It would be the last he'd see of him for three, nearly four years. Of course, he couldn't even remember his little apprentice at the time but even now the hole that he should've filled in those memories hurt. 

"I want to show you something." Julian stood, approaching his desk and pressing a hidden button on it's underside. A hidden drawer popped out and he took the folded piece of paper with near reverence. After...after Theo had died, this had been the last letter he'd ever received from him. It was a mere report on plague victims, short and succinct to whomever might read it besides Julian, but the handwriting had sent aches through his entire body whenever he'd look at it. Passing it gently to Theo, he watched the man nearly drop it in shock. 

"I found this last time I was here." The doctor offered as an explanation, "I wasn't quite sure what to think. I didn't know at the time if you were a random citizen and this all happened to be a very ironic turn of events, or...if we knew each other. Then the Hanged Man gave me my memories back and...I know you. Knew you. I'm...I'm so sorry."

Theo stood, laying the letter gently on the cot, and grasped Julian's face in both of his warm, very alive hands, "For what?"

Julian blinked, looking at him with that doe eyed gaze that was reminiscent of a kicked puppy, "You needed me and I wasn't there. What if...with everything going on, what if something happens again?"

"You can't save everyone, Julian." Soft hands brushed a rust colored curl behind his ears, and Theo looked at him with warm, forgiving eyes, "So many people died during the plague, honestly it's not a surprise I was one."

"You were at my practice, though." There was an almost whine like quality to his voice, pain tearing at his chest, "You were helping me. I didn't even know until...the Countess...until she informed me. I did nothing, Theo, and you-"

A hand was clamped over his mouth, stemming the harsh flow of words that Julian berated himself with, and there was a hard look in Theo's eyes, "You. Are. Not. Responsible. For. Everyone. I made that decision to help you, for better or worse. You didn't do nothing, as you put it, besides that fact. You were here, working on a cure, and no one can fault you for that. No one can blame you. I will not allow it."

The hand fell away, and Julian gave a bitter chuckle, "No one but myself."

Theo's eyes were sad, but far from accusing. The doctor blinked, something like awe settling in the pit of his stomach, in the very core of his being, "But...you're not blaming me. You're not angry."

"No." Theo murmured, "Of course not."

Forgiving Theo, infinitely loving and compassionate Theo, who never stayed cross at him for long no matter how hard Julian shoved his foot in his mouth or how hard he tried to push him away. If he hadn't seen the man's face earlier when he blasted Valdemar with pure magic, he wouldn't believe his love had a vindictive bone in his body.

Soft hands were on his face again, but Julian could see the conflicted gleam in his eye, "What is it?"

"Something's bothering me." The magician sighed, looking Julian in the eye, "If I really died..."

"How are you alive now?" Julian finished, brushing his hands over Theo's hips, "You too, huh? Wish I knew, bringing someone back to life...that's...well, I won't say impossible. I literally came back from the dead ten minutes ago, but it's not exactly common, is it?"

"Everything is possible, as long as you're willing to pay the price." The magician's eyes grew unfocused when he said that before they snapped back into reality, "Asra...Asra told me that. He would know if anyone would."

"Then we'll find him." Julian looked at the door, slightly cross.

"We can...wait." Theo suggested, running his hands through the doctors hair, "For Portia to come back. I don't want her having a heart attack if we suddenly go missing."

A stone dropped in his stomach and Julian cringed, "I've...I've caused Pasha enough pain and worry for a lifetime."

"Mmh, multiple lifetimes, actually. But she forgives you, and loves you anyways, because that's how love works and you're her brother." Theo hummed slightly, ignoring the wide eyed, awed look the doctor gave him, "She might be awhile, though. I'm assuming she chased the worm straight to Nadia. He did attack two guards after all..."

"Yes, I'd imagine she would." The doctor chuckled slightly, pulling himself and Theo down onto the cot once more and folding the letter, tossing it onto his desk with surprising accuracy. He had the real thing in front of him, no use pouring over empty words. He could remember the first time they kissed, years ago, before he'd left for the palace the first time. Theo had looked so lost, so unwilling to be alone. So hesitant. He hadn't given Julian everything, the doctor realizes belatedly, when comparing the sheer emotion in Theo's now to then. Now he had dived in headfirst and poured his entire being into Julian, whereas before something had him tethered to the shore. He didn't bother wondering what it was, nor did he particularly care. He was more focused on Theo's neck and the sounds the apprentice made when he bit it.

Theo pushed him down, straddling his hips and leaning down to kiss him so hard Julian was certain their lips would bruise. Hands came up to wind in auburn hair and tug hard, leaving Julian shuddering and moaning beneath Theo. Shifting on top of him, the magic-user placed his hands over the doctor's heart to feel the beat underneath his fingertips and Julian grabbed the hand, holding it firmly there.

"Ilya? Theo? Are you still down here?"

The two jumped apart, stumbling over themselves to stand as Julian tried to finger comb his hair and Theo wiped off his spit-slicked lips. Straightening their clothes and hoping they didn't look too disheveled, Julian pushed open the door only to see Portia in the middle of the dungeon, giving everything a firm look of disgust. Her eyes eventually landed on them and a bright smile bloomed onto her face before it turned teasing and a knowing look entered her eye.

"Well, I'm assuming I wasn't missed much."

"Pasha!" Julian grumbled, cheeks flushing slightly.

She threw Theo a wink before turning around and leading them up the stairs, "Come on. Nadia is waiting, and I think your teacher is with her, Theo."

Theo glanced back at Julian, looking vaguely concerned, but all the doctor did was give a mischievous wink. The magician narrowed his eyes, reaching back and firmly tugging a lock of Julian's hair as they reached the top. The doctor nearly fell backwards down the stairs and was sure he had never loved another person as much as he loved Theo.

**Author's Note:**

> First Julian/M!Apprentice that I've done. If you guys have any suggestions for M!Apprentice or F!Apprentice with anyone or have any prompts you want filled, I'm accepting them right now!


End file.
